What kind of man has a profound influence on a woman in an erotic relationship
Hello, teacher: I have a special hate, especially hate father.From small to big he did not give me any good memory, I can remember that he is in my evaluation manual on the disorderly fill, the grandpa to buy the beloved red balloon after blowing explosion to me a burst of ridicule……These are not the reason why I hate him, I hate him because at the age of 10, his grandparents money for a steal stepmother with family scale, cut broken home, broke the bench in the home, or even to be picked up on the second floor of a grandma to receive tableware, what dishes all smashed, these are all I see, is not enough to make me hate him.What made me hate him was when I came home from school and I heard from my family that he pushed my grandfather over the balcony and said, “I’m gonna throw you to your death.”I overheard it when the adults were talking. Maybe they had forgotten that there had been such a thing, because of this behavior, I have always hated him.More than 20 years later, I don’t even feel the need to keep it in mind because of the birth of my child, at least his feelings for my child are genuine.But it was also a secret I kept from even my best friend.Until I met a life coach, I tried to mention it to him in a smooth tone, because it was a phone call, he did not hear anything wrong, then relieved me a few words, he said that there is no need to keep worrying about it, it is not good for myself, I also listen to him, try not to think about it.Grandma late lung cancer in 2021, his condition deteriorated, need their parents take turns to take care of, too much money, this time, he began to quarrel with three aunt, is actually don’t want to, I also with three aunt promised, no matter even if he, I am a grandpa’s grandmother raised, I bear with them, but later when he needs me, I don’t want a penny,Just don’t tell me that’s my dad.Aunts taken seriously, but also to dwell with him, until today, the f * * king home, quarrel with aunts also hit, my cousin told me after I will immediately report to the police, the police will have played, sister-in-law and uncle in order not to affect the cousin and my child soldiers or take an examination of civil servants, chose to submit to humiliation, let him go,He could’ve been in detention for 10 days and a half months.Not only was I angry, I was devastated, but his behavior today took me back in an instant to more than 20 years ago, when I was the hurt kid again, the terrified kid.At that time, I hated, because I loved my grandparents and lived with them. His behavior made me think that I would lose my grandparents and not be loved, which was like a death threat to me at that time.Now I can objectively and calmly analyze why this matter affects me so much, but as long as I think of his behavior today, he was so desperate, helpless and suffocated that he immediately came back, I have no way to control my emotions, and I even think that I need to seek professional treatment.Happy people use childhood to cure life, unfortunate people use a lifetime to cure childhood, I always feel happy, there are so many love my relatives and friends, had been in depression for three or four years to climb out, the injured child seems to drag me back to hell.So, teacher, how can I heal that injured child?My reply: many similar families, each of us can not decide their own birth, who is your father, since such a man is your father, there is no way, you can only accept, let yourself become better.You said that the inner child, because of your childhood experience, once something bad touches you, you will feel uncomfortable. Life is growing and changing, you always need to face the pain.In the past, you may have run away and thought you could just cover up the past, but the pain is still hidden deep inside you, and occasionally it pops up and touches you.When you are young, you will escape, thinking that as long as your life is good enough, there will be no shadow of independent family. For example, if you get married, it is actually a way to escape from the family of origin, which does not mean that the pain will go away.The reflexes will remind you that as the reflexes become more frequent, you still need to deal with them.After a few years, you still feel that you are facing your father’s behavior. Every time you see him, you will feel very painful. It is suggested that you should regularly get counseling so that you can at least have an outlet to talk out and heal the pain hidden in your heart.Maybe you know how to love your grandma better, love the people around you, love your family.As for your father’s pain, it becomes less important, and even more powerful.People in the young, in order to “goal” desperately want to move on, is to escape from a certain pain, but any “depression or pain”, if not solved at that time, sooner or later will break out, so the pain of childhood still need to face, no one can replace.About the author:360 degrees in psychology, psychological to supervise /, consultants, domestic well-known sexual psychological research, psychologists, educators, thinkers, deep psychological field more than 20 years, the modern people in the marriage, love, and parent-child relationship in a deeper insight and understanding of the emotional problems, committed to the localization of psychological counseling, through counseling, teaching, writing and the way to popularize psychological knowledge,Help the public harvest happiness.